By the morning it was 360. The one thing he said in those conversations was he wished he had done more. Be grateful for your life. 7. At the end of your life you won't remember any of that stuff but you will remember any incredible experiences. We're excited to tell our friends or family about changes we're making in our lives. This life is all the time we have to make good choices about God. Here are 9 of the most common ones. If you regret a lost (or found) relationship, a career choice, a financial decision, an educational experience, then instead of focusing on “what if I had,” focus on “what I want." I went to Twitter and typed: “What is your biggest regret. Along the way I learned seven key lessons to not living a life of regret. 4. It means that no matter how many times you fall you get back up and keep pushing forward. It was encouraging that right alongside the people who regretted a life lived in fear were others who had made a change – now regretting the time it had taken to find their solution for this exact problem: “Taking far too long to realise that everyone else in the world is also imperfect and winging it – just like me”, “Worrying too much about what other people thought of me – trying to uphold what I thought were their beliefs not mine”, “I regret not getting antidepressants 20 years earlier”, “Being scared all the time. Your journey is your journey and shouldn't be compared. Be confident. There’s definitely a lesson in there: while there’s always the possibility of regrettable rejection, it’s better than the regret of not having tried. Best choice ever. Whether you’re seeking parental approval or pursuing pay and prestige over passion, making a poor career choice is … I play Soulless 5 on Robeats and I regret it after the first 15 seconds. I love your character and the art you get! Not truly living. He was relatively young and his death was a shock. Are you making the right life choices for your future? I had casually asked a question that, surprisingly, a lot of people really wanted to answer. Left me disadvantaged all my life. In April of 2012 my father died at the age of 54. Nobody said, “I regret that I got cancer”, because nobody chooses to contract the disease, therefore it’s not technically a regret. PLEASE TELL ME WHY I DID THIS LIKE CAN SOMEONE JUST LIKE IDK TELL ME TO NOT DO THIS ;m; oh well might do something with them yay? Generally if you haven't used something in the last year you probably don't need it (there can be exceptions of course). The greatest regret is that I am not prepared to die. 1. D: Erigawn. Having a past full of failure is not a very good reason to kill yourself, since if you do you’ll necessarily die a failure. Thanks for the watch! If you want to move forward you have to stay away from negative people. There are opportunities all around us and people are making their dreams a reality as you're reading this. Accumulating too much stuff. Real regrets are about bad choices in love, learning and loss, being held back by fear – and self-blame, Last modified on Mon 25 Nov 2019 07.21 EST. 3 months ago. “My regret: listening to teachers who said I was stupid because I can’t spell. ©2020 Verizon Media. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. I was humbled by their honesty. You make a poor career choice: There are too many people out there who studied for a degree they regret or even spent their lives pursuing a career they regret. Regret … perhaps I could have been an Olympian”. I left a job I was miserable at to follow my dream of writing. Be grateful that you are alive. I regret my life choices. As I sat thinking during his funeral I kept replaying the last few conversations we had. She died 2 hrs after I left her, it haunts me still”, “Not calling my Dad the night before he suffered a fatal heart attack, just because I had only lost ½lb and I didn’t want him to be disappointed”, “My cousin rang me on Christmas eve and I really rushed the convo because I was cooking … she killed herself on Boxing Day”, “Not staying with my mum to the very end. The worst thing for me was getting paralysed by choice anxiety and doing nothing at all (except staying in my dead-end job). 1. Intriguingly, of all the replies, only two people mentioned money – one regretting a flat they hadn’t bought, one regretting a sale. He told me to learn the lesson he never learned: don't die with regret. ... and about all the poor decisions that I made in my life. Although the life stories I hear as a hospice nurse are all unique, certain regrets get expressed time and time again. Don’t even think about it | Oliver Burkeman. Having left school before her exams and worked for 38 years in a job she doesn’t enjoy, she’s using this moment as a chance to address the regret, and has just bought her fourth book …, “The last 20 years have been particularly bad, no one should wake up dreading the day ahead, I thought it was all I could do, but maybe not …”. More than once. -- Brendon Burchard. ... I’m finally in the right place in my life, and if it took … Education was high up the list – there were many more regrets to do with school and college than I would have expected. Youth is finite. Your choices today will determine the number of regrets you will have in … Ten minutes to choose whether I wanted to change my life. The best thing you can do is to take it one day at a time. You can regret and feel ashamed about past sexual experiences and relationship heartaches, past financial mistakes and misguided career choices and bad habits and unhealthy eating which has led to illness. “Not telling someone I loved them. By studying these regrets, you can make certain that you make good choices and don’t fall victim to them yourself. We have so many things we want to do in life yet never do. Counterfactual thinking drives regret. Found one. Instead of focusing on the big changes you want to make, focus on waking up and doing what you have to do that day. y 20-year-old son just moved into a fraternity house at his college in the US. I can tell you from personal experience that chasing your dreams is hard work. Unproductive regret, where you completely blame yourself, can create chronic stress which leads to health problems. The reality is, however, there are an infinite number of reasons we should never regret any of the decisions we … 2. Not chasing your dreams. Very few replies were lighthearted – though I loved the ones that were …, “Being sick in my father-in-law’s hand”, “Not flying on Concorde to New York with Lionel Richie. Upon seeing my hesitation, the doctor asked me to take ten minutes to think about my decision. Also – a lot of lessons to be learned here: “My regret: Going to the office Christmas party and then having to look for a new job the next day … Not my fault the boss’s wife turned out to be more than just a flirt”. Pretty soon you'll start to believe what they're saying and quit. I righted my regret. Never lived my potential”, “Not getting a better education and working full time from the age of 16”, “Leaving school in 80s & not going to art college. Every day is a gift and we should live each day as if it were the last. “didn’t know I could be an athlete til I saw London 2012. Life is short. I can tell you from personal experience that chasing your dreams is hard work. You may not have as much as someone else but you can and you will if you do something about it. Biggest regret – not listening at school”, At last, here was one tiny area I could be useful … I retweeted her words and asked Twitter if they could help. I don’t know why so many people had such strong regrets living so close to the surface – but by the end of the evening, I felt I might have learned more about life through what people regretted not doing, than through 55 years of being given advice about what to do. No Regrets: Sometimes The Wrong Choices Bring Us To The Right Places. The saddest stories were from people who had been abused – and even in 140 characters, they were terrible. The hardest part was not the decision, but coping with the ‘what if’ afterwards”. The six years I spent working in hospice care were some of the most profound and meaningful of my life. Never regret a day in your life, “Good day gives you joy while a bad day gives you experience”. Learn what regret is. Believe it or not, a lot of our biggest regrets in life have to do with things that happened to us in grade 4 or some other early age. All of us feel these things at different points in our lives, especially after making a “bad” decision. Ten minutes later her follower count had gone up to 24. Might even get that tattooed on to their arms. This weekend I became World Champion Kettlebell Lifter in 55-59 age group. Regret is negative feelings of guilt, sadness, or anger over past decisions. It was one area in which the abused had control, and they regretted not exercising it. 3. There are many days when you want to quit. Still at the same workplace now”. I was afraid and needed to go home to my kids. I forever fear she was in fear. Where there’s life, there’s clearly time to turn regret around. You ignore those doubts and create that amazing life. And then, as if in reply, I also got a set of tweets filled with big solutions. I also regret my life choices. It means you don't hold back, you chase those dreams. Below you’ll find ten choices you’ll regret in ten years: 1. However, I feel it’s only through mistakes and failure in life that you can grow. By far the most frequent were regrets about not doing the right thing when someone died. Life is too short to spend even a single moment miserable. If you don’t make the choice, today, to put your... 3. You'll look up after a while and realize you're there. So much of life seems to revolve around making money and getting ahead, but lifestyle is a choice. My 20-year-old son just moved into a fraternity house at his college in the US. Maybe these survivors passing on this single regret with such unity and clarity will encourage others to exercise that one vital control. After 2 degrees was told I’m dyslexic. “Never going to University. Join me at kconstable.com. Thank you so much for the watch . There are “poor” people living much better lives than wealthy workaholics. He wanted to take me for dinner. But what emerged is that real regrets are about bad choices. Truly living doesn't mean you're skydiving every other day. And there were some beautiful stories. It’s bizarre how we can get so offended and angry when other people hurt us, and yet repeatedly choose to torture ourselves, far worse than they possibly could, through repeated mental rehashing. Dysuva (Bat) 2. #muppet”, “#TossUp between joining the Jehovah’s Witnesses at 14 & living in a high-control group for years - OR - not seeing Patrick Swayze in Guys & Dolls”. Career-choice regrets made me realise a pattern was developing … regret seems most often to be about fear. All I had expected were a few variations of the classic “I regret working too hard – should have spent more time with the kids”, but nobody said that – not one person. She tweeted me this: “I’m 54, no friends, or family, only 18 followers – the least on here – but I have everything I need. Or, that I have failed to live my life for God. It took me until my 30s to figure it out. Did I love? When you look back at your career - some decisions went good and some went bad. Take risks – they may go wrong but it’s better than regretting not having tried. Starting tomorrow. Not bad things happening to you, or the way that life has punched you in the face: regret … Not truly living. “Not being with Mum at the end. Letting negative people hold you back. I am constantly drowning in such regret, self-loathing, and depression that my life is miserable and I'm falling apart. Likewise if you regret the life you’ve lived and you kill yourself then you will die having lived nothing but a regrettable life. Most people spend 40 to 60 hours of their week working. As others have said my life could have been very different not having made certain choices. It’s anger at yourself for having enough information to have made the right decision, but making the wrong one – ie it’s about self-blame. The damage, trauma and pain came from a range of different circumstances, but the “regret” in all of them seemed to be the same – that the survivor hadn’t spoken up sooner. It was an impulsive selfish choice that I immediately regretted, but it has ruined relationships in my life and, worst of all, my mental health such that I can't even be the man I used to be to try to rebuild. Too often we let our doubt and fear hold us back from the amazing life we all can live. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. With the help of mental health professionals, we've rounded up the biggest regrets people have over 50. Last month, I spent three days there trying to turn his bedroom from a fluorescent-lit hellhole into a page from an Ikea catalogue, and while making up flat-packs, we discussed his hopes and plans for the next three years … what he wanted from life, from love, his strengths, his fears, and how to approach his college years so that he could set himself up for a life well lived. Regret. Moved to France – still scary but food and life is good!”, “I used to worry about keeping up appearances but when I had a crisis ppl were so supportive”. Ten minutes! Fear of getting it wrong, leading to an unfulfilled life, followed by self-blame for being fearful. Shame. When I posed this question on Twitter, the stories poured out and patterns emerged. 0. I was working. Unfortunately jealousy is a part of human nature but there are some who know how to deal with it. Ring your mother, be kind to everyone and FFS change your sheets.” I’m already regretting the shallowness of the “change your sheets” bit. These were sad, sobering, enlightening responses – big stories told in 140 words to a stranger on a Saturday night. In fact, there are certain situations some of us would rewind (or delete) if we could. As well as the many tweets like this: “That my mum died too young to see me turn from an ungrateful, truculent teenager into a person and father I hope she’d be proud of”. You have every opportunity to make the most of the life you have right now. You’ll Regret Making the Choice Not to Take Charge of Your Life. I just saw a Bramblestar dysuva and now i regret trading my squirrel flight dysuva ;-; It also looks like Broken star or Tiger star. 3 months ago. In an age of teen entrepreneurs and endless messages telling children to “follow their dreams”, these feel like crucial lessons. I was a wimp in my 20s. I gave up the old life, bad habits, and poor choices of friends, and had a fresh start. And then, perhaps less surprising, there was love: a few tweets from people regretting that they had declared their love and ended up having their heart broken, but many, many more regretting not being braver and not risking vulnerability – the regret of having been afraid. That stuff creates clutter, which will lead to stress. When we moved to Hawaii we were shocked by how much stuff we had. The best thing you can do is to take it one day at a time. I wish I had made some changes in my priorities, in order to be on the receiving end for lasting positive results. If you can't control jealousy you'll definitely live a life of regret. 'I was kicked out of halls after one night' – your freshers' week regrets, Will you regret later what you’re doing now? One that a bar chart cannot capture. ‘I wasn’t there at the end’: readers’ biggest regrets in life. Absolutely sexy :3 . We go through life getting things and saving them, we're afraid to throw things away that we don't use. Start today and tomorrow you'll be closer to living out your dream. Constantly comparing yourself to other people. Here are seven choices you'll regret at the end of your life if you don't do something about them today. Ten minutes to choose whether I wanted to raise a child. “Too scared to risk failing at something I loved, so I succeeded at something I had no passion for”, “Not following my dream to work in radio”, “Listening to my dad when he said my voice was too weak to be a singer”. As you take it one day at a time you'll look up after a while and realize you're there. It's not going to be easy and it will take time but it will be worth it. Mistakes and bad choices usually centre around the three biggies of life: relationships, career/finances and health/lifestyle. Chase those dreams and create that amazing life. We have so many things we want to do in life yet never do. May 10, 2020 #1 So I finally got a runaan which is really good for me but when I enchanted it on the enchant table because I’m impatient and I really wanted enchants I got punch 2. 1. On the final evening, I found myself alone in a horrid Illinois hotel, still thinking about my boy’s apprehensions for his journey into adulthood and how I might help him make decisions he would never regret. 2 months ago. Part of HuffPost Wellness. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, The essential guide to taking care of your mind and body. “Not having the courage to speak up as a teen victim of sexual abuse”, “Not speaking up sooner about stepfather. There are many ups and downs. 13. “Life is about choices. If you don’t choose to take control of your life,... 2. If a regret is defined as “feeling sad or disappointed about something you have done, or failed to do”, then it would imply these tweeters feel that living in fear is some sort of choice. Drakorax-The-Dragon. Ten minutes to choose my baby’s fate. Asking for a friend.” The response was huge. Last month, I spent three days there trying to turn his bedroom from a fluorescent-lit hellhole into a page from an Ikea catalogue, and while making up flat-packs, we discussed his hopes and plans for the next three years … what he wanted from life, from love, his strengths, his fears, and how to approach his college years so that he could set himself up for a life well lived. But it doesn’t help the pain to point that out. If you're doing work that makes you miserable every other part of your life will be affected. "At the end of our lives we all ask: Did I live? Some we regret, some we’re proud of. In a way most complex, there were a lot of tweets about anxiety, and what intrigued me was the self-blame. 6. 2 months ago. Wasted years worrying about it”, “Worrying. After reading many answers in this thread, I’m about to change that”. On the final evening, I found myself alone in a horrid Illinois hotel, still thinking about my boy’s apprehensions for his journey into adulthood and how I might help him make decisions he would never regret. Learn from your teachers – you’ll never regret that. I learned the hard way that comparing yourself to others only leads to bitterness and heartache. 5. The message: we are what we chose to be.” ... followed by ill-fitting career choices. There are many days when you want to quit. ShadowWing48. By Paul Hudson. His death was a wake up call and started me on a journey where I lost 165 pounds, moved from Milwaukee, Wisconsin to our dream designation of Maui, Hawaii. Mental health is tough enough to handle without adding self-blame – but anxiety and self-reproach seem to be a “buy one, get one free” package. I wouldn’t regret her if my husband was still here, but now I’m in a situation that I can’t get out of. This may fill you with repentance for your choices made and regret each act. Get rid of the negative and you'll live a happier life. I regret my life choices. All rights reserved. You should not regret your choices but learn from them and become wiser. So while I'm glad I have my wife and kids I still regret a few things. I can deal with most of my other regrets in life but am having a hard time dealing with this one." We always think we have more time when the reality is we're not guaranteed a tomorrow. They all had the same message. About pretty much everything. Letting jealousy win. My unsolicited advice is to just pick something that's somewhat appealing, then adjust as you go. But my favourite of all the replies was from @dorey1414. All the time”. The truth is that a) we all try to make the best decisions possible using the information available at the time, and b) we all mess up. As I made big changes in my life one way I measured my progress was comparing my results to what others were doing. When you spend that much time doing something it will affect your life one way or another. Thread starter Monkeyking100; Start date May 10, 2020; Monkeyking100 Well-Known Member. Start today and you won't die with regret in your heart. Am currently on 4th degree”, “For me it used to be going into teaching instead of law. Instead of focusing on the big changes you want to make, focus on waking up and doing what you have to do that day. Guilt. As you get older, instead of dissipating, those regrets tend to start piling up—according to a 2016 survey by life insurance company Allianz, 32 percent of respondents said they regretted major life decisions they'd made. Not bad things happening to you, or the way that life has punched you in the face: regret is a deep sorrow about something you did, or something you failed to do. Sometimes they're not as excited as we are and sometimes they're even negative. Maybe they’ll be reflecting on the shortness of life like I am now. I’ve read them out loud to my teenage sons. She now has more than 900 and is massively excited about it, starting enthusiastic conversations with dozens of her new followers. But what emerged is that real regrets are about bad choices. I wanted to get a job. Perhaps the most common regret people have in later years is working too much – the rest of us should take note. Own your mistakes but don’t dwell on self-blame. Some will haunt us forever. Regret is a critical way of thinking or feeling in which you blame yourself for things that happened. I am a 30-something employee of a company and to be honest, I have a feeling of deep regret over how the choices I had made in life 10 years back have shaped up my life now. Joined Apr 16, 2020 Messages 1,074 Reactions 345. 2) Recognize the greatest regret. World-traveling author, consultant, and coach. They wish they hadn’t made decisions based on what other people think 7. You’ll Regret Not Making the Choice to Be Financially Free. Dima~ 2 months ago. Depression’s most successful con trick is to convince its victims that it’s their own fault. And most of the replies divided into six specific categories. All other regrets will be overshadowed by this. These are three of the darkest emotions any human will ever experience. Negative people aren't happy with them selves and will poison your progress. Come to the end of your life with a smile on your face knowing that you have no regrets. Did I matter?" Too often we let our doubt and fear hold us back from the amazing life we all can live. It wasn’t just big in volume – more than 300 replies – but the tweets were devastatingly honest. Make changes at your own pace. I’m clearly no authority on this subject, but I’d love to tell you a bit of what I saw that night. Fast-forward another 18 years, and I will be in the second half of my career and my kids will be out of the house. Regret is a negative cognitive or emotional state that involves blaming ourselves for a bad outcome, feeling a sense of loss or sorrow at what might have been, or … She died overnight. But her tough life had been turned by her head into a personal failing and therefore a “regret”. 20 years too late now”, “Marrying the first person who asked because I thought no one would ever ask me”, “Not following my heart many times over the years, and allowing my limited expectations to define my life and decisions. He told me he had so many dreams and goals that he had never done anything about. The time to start isn't tomorrow because tomorrow may never come. Best of luck! When I look back at some of the most painful moments of my life, I see myself sitting alone, feeling either immense shame or regret. But mental health still carries the stigma that it’s a “weakness” of some sort – and the regrets played that out: “My regret: being too anxious and not assertive enough”, “I regret not coming out sooner. Wasting too much time and money in college switching majors and not focusing knowing I … Everyone experiences regret at some point in life, especially young people, but regret becomes a problem when ruminating over past mistakes results in disengagement with your life, career, and personal relationships. During those ten minutes my boyfriend convinced me to go ahead with it. Ten minutes. Productive regret can help you learn to change your behavior for the future. Before I flew home from Chicago, I texted my college son with this advice: “The most debilitating enemy you can have is your own fear. Here are seven choices you'll regret at the end of your life if you don't do something about them today. Changed for better”, “Not finding the Open University earlier”. There are many ups and downs. The tweet “I regret allowing depression and anxiety to rule my life since teen years” could have been reframed as “I have a mental illness against which I have felt powerless since my teens”. jasafarid. Took the Savile situation for me to realise I would be believed.”, “Biggest regret.... my Grandad... abusing my brother and I ... not having the courage to disclose so I could have protected him ...”. Regret can be over things you have done or not done. But I won’t tell you that I regret any of the decisions that I made, as poor as they might have been. Expressed time and time again you completely blame yourself for things that happened it will affected! Be affected, “Not speaking up sooner about stepfather life could have been by studying these regrets i regret my life choices you and... On the shortness of life like I am constantly drowning in such regret, self-loathing, and intrigued... 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