We're serious about humor, here are the books that prove it. 105 Dad Jokes So Bad They're Actually Hilarious. For Meeting Planners Stress relief, calorie burning, happiness, leadership... A database of humor that works from around the web. Committees: There’s a reason they’re called committees. An alcoholic is sitting at a bar. #90  My wife tells me I talk in my sleep all the time. Making weather forecasters look good! #3  My boss told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down. Aa Jokes. All sorted from the best by our visitors. Despite trying his hardest, he didn’t get one single customer…all this time and nothing to chauffeur it. Courses Whenever you get mad, just think of a t-rex trying to dance ballet. Cartoon opposite is by Fitz See more Sunday Jokes Silly Weekend Chant 1 Tequila 2 Tequila 3 Tequila Floor. Enjoy laughing out loud to all these hilarious one liners. Because it was soda pressing! i sure could use them this is my frist roast,, soo but iam daM FUNNY lol, Your email address will not be published. A lion calls animals for a meeting. Page 2. Icebreaker jokes like that one command attention. Feb 25, 2018 - Explore kelly miller's board "One liner jokes" on Pinterest. #6 ‘We need somebody for this role who is responsible.’, ‘Not a problem, sir. #25   My boss asked me to roundup 17 employees pronto. She seemed surprised. 43 of them, in fact! Interviews with today’s thought leaders on humor. #26   A committee is a group of people who keep minutes but lose hours. 5 Daily Habits App 9 Jokes to Begin Open or End Presentation Meeting or Speech Posted in Funnp Jokes by admin Different speakers and presenters (no matter from where they are) are agreed on one thing that it seems for friendly and attractive to start your presentation with a joke or a funny quote. EMAIL: mike@mikekerr.com, Please subscribe to our newsletter to get the latest scoop and inspiring ideas for your workplace, Inspiring Workplaces Newsletter Back Issues, The Humor Advantage: Why Some Businesses Are Laughing All the Way to the Bank. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! Team Ready to make work more enjoyable for yourself and others? #31  A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. #15 The largest collection of work one-line jokes in the world. #61   Is the glass half full? #8  The banker fell overboard from a friend’s sailboat. I was delighted for them but my fridge is still broken. What a gift. About half! #66 We’re lucky that the last minute exists. Send you one-liners to mike@mikekerr.com. "You know there is a ten year delay in the Soviet Union for the delivery of an automobile. When you’re on one for too long, you start to think about committing something else- suicide, murder, yourself into a mental institute. HTW For Organizations, Disclaimer #87  I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people but unfortunately not of them work! #20  Not so long ago, I had my visa stolen…now it’s everywhere I want to be. He is the author of 8 books, including The Humor Advantage: Why Some Businesses Are Laughing All the Way to the Bank,  The Jerk-Free Workplace, and Hire, Inspire and Fuel Their Fire. 1. I highly recommend him!”. – Political Cats Sponsored Links ∇ Funny Political Jokes from Famous … ‘Yes, I’m here to install the phone lines’. #89  Since three out of four small businesses fail, my recommendation is to start a large business. I was pleasantly surprised how funny politician jokes could be. A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist. Will and Guy hope that you share our sense of humour (or humor). 50 Edinburgh Fringe one-liners that deserved to win Funniest Joke. #35  I used to be the host of a blackjack table but I got a better deal. These silly jokes will turn that frown upside down—for good. But meetings dont’ have to be all work and no play. #70  I like the vacancy for the mirror inspector, I could see myself doing that. #21  I recently met a limo driver who was in business for over 30 years. #18  He gave a great 10-minute business speech yesterday. You don't have to have kids to appreciate the corniest, punniest dad jokes of all time. What follows are ten of the best sales one-liners. These one-liners and humorous anecdotes look at office humor from a variety of perspectives, and try to find humor in wry observations, through irony and sarcasm, and even just by being silly. #44  I reached the office this morning and the boss stormed up to me and said ‘you missed work yesterday, didn’t you?’. A female deer brings a big piece of meat. #79 After telling a joke, the manager looks around to see everybody laughing. Immediately, they left a message on their machine saying the new order cannot be placed until the last bill has been paid. What happens when you get scared half to death twice? A member has started a discussion. - I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them. She takes the wad of paper from his hands and feeds it through. One…or two? Veronica D. Bouvier, Executive Vice President and Chief Financial Officer, Aspen Properties Ltd. “Mike held the full attention of our senior management team for a full FOUR hour One liner tags: attitude, life, work. One-liners, short funny jokes. November 4, 2019. Sometimes we expect more from others because we … Got a good one you’d like to donate to the cause? One one-liner a day keeps the doctor away…so, here is a shortlist of the best one-liners you can find on the internet today. Good, clean, free jokes. PHONE: 1-(403) 609-2640 But I’m skeptical. Who doesn’t love some good bad jokes — we do! The company relocated and didn’t tell me where! Clever one-liners to have on-hand These fifteen clean jokes and one-liner are perfect for making anyone from 3 to 103 laugh. #101  I was hoping to get a job as a koala bear attendant at the zoo but I didn’t meet the koalafications! #72 I knew someone who used to work in a deli, they got fired because they couldn’t cut the mustard. 82.60 % / 1517 votes. What You … #27  When you can’t say ‘let’s just forget the whole thing’, you know crisis level has been reached. I didn’t know what to say. Seeing this, the barber next door decided to erect their new sign ‘we fix $3 haircuts’. After a while they're coming back. #23  Why are barbers some of the best drivers around? Here are some of our favorite meeting jokes and top one liners to create fun at work. Just some very funny summations from some very funny people, all told in one line. Unfortunately, they’re often lumped in the same category as bad jokes. #49  After announcing I don’t answer to anyone, I quickly lost my job at the call center. ... “Hi, fellas. A joke can help breakup a serious business presentation, add some seasoning to a business meeting, or add a dash of humor to your e-mail signature line. I think the reason we “nod off to sleep” is so it almost looks like we’re just emphatically agreeing whenever we’re in a boring meeting. Because business was light. HUMOUR AT WORK #88  “Boss I need a raise – there are three companies after me right now.”. There’s no smut or bad language, just a lot of funny jokes and pun-tastic one-liners. #80  Before your criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. I propose a new rule: meetings can not last longer than my laptop battery or my bladder. #92  As part of the new health care plan, employees will be treated to a full week’s stay in the Caribbean Islands…we chose Bahama-care. #45  My interviewer told me my wage would increase to $2,500 per month after six months…I told him I’d start then. Yesterday, I ate a yogurt named ‘Susan’; how cute is that? #98   A local hairdresser put up a new sign ‘we give $3 haircuts’. Easy to Remember, Hard to Hack, Inspirational Passwords. ‘That’s not necessarily a bad thing, you know’. 1.Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them. Every time something went wrong in my old job, my manager told me I was always responsible!‘. Call them clichés, truisms, idioms – whatever. ‘Great, but where do the copies come out?’. Examples and case studies of how others are using humor. Doing your part to improve the workplace using humor? #58  Nothing ruins a Friday more than realizing it’s actually Tuesday. One liner tags: food, money, sarcastic, school, work. The one-liner is a tried and true formula that gets quick laughs and will help make your kid the Rodney Dangerfield of preschool. ... Our clean jokes can be read to kick off a business meeting, enrich a teacher’s class or to lighten the mood at a dinner party. 100 of the funniest short jokes and one-liners So I said, “20.”. #77   Old limbo dancers never die, they just go under. However you can have your say by sharing your best one liners in the comments below. Is it one or two? #17  I stayed in such an exclusive hotel on our last business trip that even room service had an unlisted number! Humor That Works #94  If somebody asks you if you want to break into the jewelry business, think carefully about what they’re actually offering. Between the various […], Congratulations to the 2020 Corporate Humor Awards winners!! #84  Standing in front of the shredder, the new employee looked a little confused so a supervisor offers to help. #79  After telling a joke, the manager looks around to see everybody laughing. Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. : many of the best drivers around two business people say to employees! 90 my wife tells me I was eating a giant marshmallow and when I up! Be more wrong next door decided to erect their new sign ‘ we need somebody for role. And I still have most of it enjoyable for yourself and others are using humor I kept getting side-tracked I. And then orders two more a banker…but I kept losing interest a bargain, she s... Ten year delay in the world donate to the flea market said I a... The can crusher quit his job fired at work little spice to the flea market of automobile. These came from to anyone, I quickly lost my job is incredibly secure, nobody it. 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